Ne Me Mori Facias
by staceums
Summary: Finally released from Jenova's grip, Sephiroth tries to pick up the pieces, atone for his sins, and find his true purpose in life. Convincing everyone else of that, however, is easier said than done. Sephiroth x Tifa
1. Prologue

_**Author's Note and Disclaimer:**_ The characters in this Fanfic belong to Square(Soft)-Enix and the makers of _Final Fantasy VII_. The ideas are entirely my own but I'm sure others have thought of the same plots and written similar fics, but it was NOT my intention to plagiarize anyone in any way, shape, or form.

Please keep in mind that this is a fanfic. Feedback and constructive criticism is encouraged about my _**writing**_ , not about my _**ideas**_. If you don't like what I put in here, don't ask me to change anything. You have the power to write about it yourself - and I don't mean by plagiarizing.

The VII timeline is a bitch, so bear with me. I'm bound to make mistakes. Please don't be a fuckin' stickler about it. This story relies heavily on the past events of _Crisis Core_ and takes place sometime after _Advent Children_. I'm ignoring the _Dirge of Cerberus_ storyline.

* * *

 _ **Prologue**_

Her voice was soft and gentle. Passing like a warm breeze. Sing-song and playful, like she was smiling as she was talking. The very sound of her voice was the complete opposite of everything he'd ever known.

 _Sephiroth._

 _Sephiroth…?_

She called to him.

 _Sehhh…phiroooth…_

… _Mother?_

It was the strangest thing, being cold.

He hadn't recollected the feeling before. A chill, perhaps, but never a true, deep _cold_.

He shivered. Strange. Not once, in his entire life, had he experienced the discomfort of low temperatures –

 _Sehhh…phiroooth…_

Homeostasis. It was a normal, simple, biological fact. The body will compensate as it adjusts to its external environment –

 _Sehhh…phiroooth…_

Not those infused with Mako energy, however. Not SOLDIER. And _never_ Sephiroth.

 _Sehhh…phiroooth…_

Nevertheless, Nibelheim _was_ at a high altitude. The air was thin and the cloud cover was consistent, meaning that less sunlight was allowed to breach through the atmosphere and warm the earth. The air circulation was mainly from the wind and snow blowing over the mountaintops, cooling and thinning as it passed up and over, keeping the town at an almost constant chill, even in the summertime. Typical weather for a small mountain town.

But still. He'd never felt _this_ cold before.

Something wasn't right.

He could hear the rustle of trees…he could feel the brisk air…the smell of the earth…

 _Sehhh…phiroooth…_

…Wasn't he in his room, at the inn?

He slowly opened his eyes, squinted and closed them at the surprisingly bright light, then opened them again, trying to focus.

The bright light was an overcast sky, which was mostly shielded by dark green leaves connected to snowy white bark from the trees nearby. He blinked.

… _Where…am I?_

His eyes opened wider. This was most definitely not the inn.

 _My mission…was it not to inspect a Mako reactor? Weren't we supposed to..._

Memories flashed through his mind, and he suddenly gasped in surprise as he remembered everything as if it had happened just yesterday.

 _Angeal! Genesis!_

… _Project G._

 _The degradation._

 _The monster copies._

 _Hollander._

… _The Mansion._

 _I was just there._

 _Where am I?_

He suddenly sprung to his feet, grabbing at Masamune, but was utterly flabbergasted at what he had found.

Masamune was missing. So were his clothes.

He was in the middle of the Sleeping Forest, naked and unarmed.


	2. Chapter 1

Dumbfounded and slightly numb for a split second, Sephiroth stared at his own body in complete confusion.

His first thought was that he was dreaming.

Common sense told him that he was very much awake.

He shivered again, stood straighter and glanced around. There didn't seem to be anyone present, so there wasn't much of a point to cover himself up. He was drastically exposed and vulnerable to attacks, but if he was being watched, or if there were enemies in the vicinity, he'd be dead already. Just in case someone was close by, however, he decided to shield himself from view behind several shrubs under a large tree. He knelt down, one elbow propped on a knee, and stared at the ground.

 _Think. Think. What happened…?_

They'd gone to Nibelheim to inspect a Mako reactor.

He turned his head, then turned again, glancing around the forest.

Nobody was there.

He checked his materia –

 _No._

He'd been completely disarmed. His materia were gone. His sword was missing. His clothes and armor… He glanced around again. None of his personal items were anywhere to be found.

 _This has to be the work of Shinra. It has to be. Damn them!_

It didn't make sense. This was _not_ Nibelheim. How had he gotten out here? The Sleeping Forest was on a completely separate _continent_.

He decided to risk it. He'd expose his location by making noise, but he doubted it would make a difference. He hissed sharply, _"…Fair!"_

No answer.

" _Zack!_ Where are you?"

A bird chirped far off in the distance.

If SOLDIERs were split up, it was best to remain in one spot rather than wander around in unfamiliar territory.

The Sleeping Forest wasn't necessarily unfamiliar to him, however – which didn't make any sense.

He had never been to the Sleeping Forest before.

…Had he?

Sephiroth had spent several minutes contemplating his situation when he suddenly jerked his head and stiffened, picking up on a distant sound floating into the atmosphere.

Whistling. Someone was whistling a tune.

He blinked. A civilian?

Civilians meant that there was a town nearby. A town meant supplies. Food. Possibly answers…

… _witnesses._

He couldn't simply walk into town, naked and unarmed. The last thing he wanted to do was raise any suspicion. It was possible that Shinra was making an attempt on his life, and he wanted to avoid SOLDIER as much as possible, yet…he wondered why he was rendered so vulnerable a state – and not dead.

A thought struck him.

 _Angeal and Genesis simply disappeared, too. We all thought they deserted. Did they willingly leave? Or is this…the degredation…how it all started? Did they even have any memories of it? Or did they suddenly wake up one morning, confused and alone? Betrayed?_

… _is the same happening to me?_

The whistling grew closer, and Sephiroth decided to crouch lower into the shrubbery to keep out of sight. As footsteps trod closer and the shuffling of leaves could be heard, his suspicions were confirmed. A hiker, or perhaps a nature enthusiast, walked past him on a small path, backpack in tow.

Sephiroth weighed his options, which were few. A civilian wouldn't give him the information he needed, but he could at least follow him to the nearest town, where he could quietly procure a few necessary articles of clothing and perhaps some materia.

He waited until the civilian was nearly out of sight, then began trailing him slowly, quietly remaining amongst the shrubbery and trees. Stealth was easy enough for Sephiroth, who was practically raised to never make a sound unless prompted to. The civilian was blissfully unaware of his surroundings and never even looked back. Sephiroth felt the familiar disdain rise up on the back of his neck. Civilians. Did they ever know, or pay attention to, what was going on around them? Had they any idea, any clue, of what SOLDIER did for them?

No. But then again, Shinra was to blame for that. The company was notorious for its lies and cover-ups.

…Its abnormal, sordid research.

Sephiroth curled a lip at the thought, and the rage boiled within him when he remembered the news of Angeal's death…the classified information he'd come across in the mansion…

 _The Mako reactor wasn't all we'd gone to Nibelheim for. Genesis left behind some rather disturbing clues…clues that we'd followed to the mansion…the secret laboratory…the top secret files…Jenova…_

 _Jenova._

He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut in anger, forcing the adrenaline back down by taking slow, labored breaths.

 _How could I have been so oblivious? How did I not realize it? Genesis and Angeal…they…they tried to find out…why…_

 _Shinra used us._

The bile rose in his throat. The memories were coming back.

At first, when he'd first come across the journals, he thought that he'd finally find out about his birth mother. The more he read, however, the more he became confused…and, over time, disgusted. For some reason, Hojo had annotated his conception 'Project S' and Sephiroth was only listed as 'Specimen S.' It was only when Sephiroth came to a small paragraph that stated:

'Specimen S has been identified as male, which should be very promising for the future project. From Jenova, he will receive all her genetic traits and features. Time will tell how she will manifest herself through him.'

He'd assumed that this Jenova person was his mother. Hojo was always an eccentric man, completely devoid of emotion and ethics, so it was not surprising to find his notes succinct and impassive. There were, of course, no other specifics on Sephiroth's parentage.

As he continued to research, he realized with horror what exactly Hojo had done.

 _Jenova was never my mother. Jenova was…it was…_

He remembered how he'd flown into a rage, tossing aside papers and breaking glass in the bowels of the Shinra mansion, cursing the research, cursing Hojo, cursing Shinra, and knowing, finally, that he would quit and never go back. To hell with them. To hell with SOLDIER. There was nothing honorable about it. Everything he'd ever known was a lie. He'd go find Genesis and join him…and do what he should have done years ago. Tear Shinra apart. Dismantle the entire operation. Then probably kill Hojo. Kill Hollander. Find this…this…Jenova _monster_ …and destroy it…

But then he couldn't remember anything else. He blacked out.

And then he woke up in the Sleeping Forest. He was kneeling in the dirt, naked and confused.

It didn't add up. Something was amiss. Something had happened. Was he drugged? Had Shinra been watching him? Why did they drag him out here? He was disarmed, obviously, but why would Shinra bother removing his _clothes?_

At first, he had a fleeting thought that perhaps this was some sort of perverted prank, but then realized that no member of SOLDIER could concoct something this elaborate, much less on the General.

He needed answers, and he knew that if he went to Midgar, Shinra would not provide any to him. It was possible that they already had a death warrant on him, just as they did with Angeal and Genesis, now that he knew the truth.

What was worse, he didn't know where his partner, Zack, had gone. Was he captured? Was he transported out here too? Did Sephiroth's discovery of those files lead to the arrest of Zack?

…Or was he in on it the whole time? Did Zack turn him in?

…He _had_ told Zack of his intentions to defect…

Sephiroth set his jaw. No. Not Zack. Not Angeal's pupil. He may have been naïve, but he was loyal.

…The puppy.

An unfamiliar feeling crept into his gut. It happened more often as of late. Worry. Sephiroth was worried. First for Genesis. Then Angeal. Now Zack.

He did not like this feeling at all. Camaraderie and friendships meant hardship. It was much easier to deal with death when you were detached.

However, this sequence of terrible events could not be ignored. Shinra had done unspeakable things, and the mass desertions showed it was beginning to backfire on them. But now, it was clear that the company that wanted Genesis and Angeal eliminated were now targeting Sephiroth…and possibly Zack.

Sephiroth grit his teeth as the smell of burning wood entered his nostrils and he saw a trail of grey smoke in the sky. He was nearing a village, and his resolve strengthened with every step. He would get answers, one way or another.

* * *

"Thank you," Tifa smiled and nodded at the patrons. "Come again."

They nodded back and left the pub, the little bell chiming as the door closed shut.

Tifa sighed and threw a dishrag over her shoulder, glancing at the clock forlornly.

11:14 p.m.

It wasn't even midnight, and the bar was dead.

This was not a good trend.

Tifa glanced at the sink, but it was empty. All of the glasses were clean. She'd wiped down the tables already, picked up a few stray napkins off the floor, flipped through the channels to find a good chocobo race or perhaps an interesting news story –

 _Shinra Electric Corporation in Hot Water_

 _Could This Be The End of Rufus Shinra?_

 _CEO of Shinra Electric Corp. Nowhere to be Found_

 _World Regenesis Organization Receives Millions From Anonymous Donor_

Tifa groaned, turned off the TV set, and tossed the remote onto the countertop. She walked around the bar again to make sure everything was straightened and clean, then came across a newspaper a customer left behind. She sat down on a barstool and unfolded the paper, scanning its contents –

 **SEPHIROTH SIGHTED NEAR BONE VILLAGE**

 _Eyewitness reports have been mounting of the late Hero General of SOLDIER – this time near the outskirts of the Sleeping Forest. A local craftsman collecting wood for clockmaking, carving, and whittling, alleged to have been assaulted by Sephiroth and left to fend for himself out in the wild. "He took my clothes!" the man claims, although he could not recall anything further that happened; only that he woke up a few hours later in his underpants and was discovered by local archaelologists from Bone Village. "He just came right up to me and knocked me out! Before I knew it, I was rolling around in the dirt, almost naked!" When asked if he was robbed or if anything of value was taken, the answer was surprising: No. Strangely enough, only his clothes were taken. Gil and personal items were left behind._

 _Was the culprit the one and only General Sephiroth? None of these assertions could be backed up by photographs or video, however, leaving many to speculate that copy-cats and lookalikes are attempting to commit robbery or, at the very least, upset the general public with tasteless pranks._

Tifa rolled her eyes and crumpled up the newspaper, attempted to make a long-shot across the bar into the trash can, missed, and sighed.

 _People will say anything for their five minutes of fame,_ Tifa shook her head. _The Turks must be going nuts with all of these sightings._

Even though he claimed to be out of power, no doubt Rufus Shinra wasn't going to take any chances with this news. He had enough bad press as it was. Sephiroth had appeared at least _twice_ , now, after assuming he was dead, so they couldn't take any of the claims lightly. Unfortunately, it made for some wonderful news fodder for the media, and Tifa doubted anyone loyal to Shinra right now got a good night's sleep for the past several months.

 _Whatever. Glad it's not me._

She glanced out the window and sighed. _I'm glad it's not me._

Outside, the city streets hustled and bustled. But 7th Heaven was empty.

… _I'm glad it's not me._

… _Aren't I?_

Yuffie and Vincent were now working for the WRO. Cloud had moved away to help Barrett in the new oil industry, and the kids went with him. Once in a while he'd take a contract job from Reeve, but things had been quiet lately. Barrett had adopted Denzel so Marlene could have a brother to keep her company, but Tifa knew better. Her relationship with Cloud hadn't exactly deteriorated, but it was different. They'd grown apart. Even though he'd healed after the Geostigma event – physically and mentally – Cloud knew that things couldn't ever be the same again, and Tifa felt the same way. Too much had happened. They had tried so hard to mend the gap between them and heal the wounds, but in the end, Cloud and Tifa had to find their own paths. Caring for two children would not make things better, as Tifa first thought. Over time, she realized that her artificial family existed to fill the hole in her heart, but her insecurity wasn't a good enough reason to retain custody of Denzel – or hold on to Cloud. In the end, she had to let them go. It was for the best.

Like so many nights before, Tifa reflected on what had happened three years ago.

. . .

After Meteorfall, the party eventually split up to head home and take care of family. Yuffie headed to Wutai to begin rebuilding what Shinra had destroyed. Barret's destination was Kalm to finally see Marlene. Vincent, of course, had disappeared before anyone could even say goodbye. Nanaki returned to Cosmo Canyon. Cid grumbled something about "crazy bullshit" and "damn near died too many times for you assholes" and wanting "to see the old lady" again in Rocket Town. When they'd all said their goodbyes and promised to meet up again soon, Tifa thought that she'd be an absolute emotional mess, now that it was all over, but the only thing on her mind was a hot shower and a soft bed. Since 7th Heaven was destroyed and Midgar was in shambles, Cloud and Tifa decided to go back to Mideel for some well-deserved rest and recuperation.

The journey there was quiet – there really wasn't much to talk about, and they were too tired anyway – but they stayed together the entire time. Tifa didn't want to be alone, and somehow she knew that Cloud didn't either. They shared a cabin on the boat, they ate together, they sat in silence together, and once they arrived in Mideel, they shared a small cabin there as well.

Tifa was the first to walk through the door. She set her dirty, torn pack down, put her hands on her hips, and looked around. The cabin was simple enough. There was a small kitchenette, a sitting area, and a loft that housed two beds. The door closed and Tifa turned around to face Cloud, who tossed his duffel bag down to the ground in exhaustion and let out a heavy sigh. He looked up and held her gaze.

As they stared at each other in silence, everything came flooding back.

So much had happened. So much sadnesss and death and destruction. Several times they thought they were going to die, and they certainly watched their loved ones die. They fought, and they killed. Would it ever be possible to return to normal?

She never did have time to process all the emotions running through her body, but they were catching up to her now. Overwhelming relief coupled with extreme heartache hit her all at once. Tifa's face screwed tight and she started to cry.

Cloud's brows knit in concern and he strode forward to embrace her. "Hey. It's okay, Tifa. It's over."

Tifa sobbed harder and buried her face into Cloud's shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. He continued to console her quietly, rocking her back and forth, hugging her tight.

"Shhhh…it's all right. We're all right. It's over. You're safe now. It's okay."

"I know…I know…it's just…oh Cloud…" Tifa could barely warble out a comprehensive sentence. She sobbed quietly and held him tightly. She knew that she was shaking.

"I'm here, Tifa," he whispered. "It's okay. I'm here now."

"Just…everything…that's happened…"

"I know."

She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. Cloud continued to rock her and cajole her softly, and when she finally calmed down, she nestled into his shoulder quietly, taking deep breaths and sighing. After a long pause, Cloud lifted his head to look at her, brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, cupped her cheeks, and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

"Are you okay?"

Tifa nodded.

"You sure?"

Tifa nodded again, though unconvincingly. Her eyes still full, she looked up at Cloud and tried to give him a tiny, reassuring smile.

Cloud studied her intently, brushing another tear away with his thumb. He continued this motion with the other hand. One thumb trailed down her cheek, and his eyes swept downward to her lips, then back up to her eyes. In a move that surprised both of them, Cloud's head suddenly dipped and he kissed her gently, pulling her close. Tifa went to him automatically, needing the contact, savoring the intimacy.

It had all happened in one fast, fluid motion. The kiss was gentle, yet demanding. It had been months since either of them had felt anything about anyone besides hatred or fear or worry or regret, and they both desperately needed to forget. The awful past and terrible memories needed to be shed. Long ago, at one point in their lives, surely they had loved each other once. Surely they could get a smidgen of it back, even though it would only be for a few moments.

The kiss quickly got deeper and heavier, more desperate, wanton. They were breathing in each other's breaths, tugging at each other's clothes. Cloud's hands were on her buttocks, caressing her back, through her hair, on her breasts, to her hips, under her shirt, at her waistline, until she pulled up the shirt herself and unclipped the bra, then she lifted his shirt. Cloud yanked it over his head and pulled down her bra straps, dipping his head to kiss her chest. Tifa arched back and Cloud guided her down to the floor, then met her with another deep kiss. Before she knew it, her panties were off and his pants were unbuckled. They hadn't even bothered to take anything else off, and he was inside her, slowly at first, then harder, pulsing hot, aching, demanding.

Tifa knew that she could never truly be his. She knew that they could never go back to how it was before. She knew that Cloud's heart belonged to Aerith. She knew that this wouldn't last; that it was just something to dull the pain and prolong the inevitable reality of heartbreak and loneliness, but she didn't care. She wanted to dull the pain, too. She wanted to forget. Right now, she just wanted to _feel_. She wanted to share _something_ with _someone_ , just to know that a part of her was still human. _Alive_. She knew Cloud wanted to feel the same thing.

Their relationship continued, even though deep down it felt artificial. Months had passed, and even after rebuilding the bar and gaining a family, the happiness they shared with each other and Marlene and Denzel wasn't meant to last. Over time, Cloud grew distant. He was still battling demons, and ultimately Tifa knew that their temporary situation was a mere bandage to a very large, festering wound.

One morning, after Cloud had spent a rare night with her, he sat up and rubbed his face, letting out a sigh. Tifa was already awake. She glanced over and caught a glimpse of what looked like a blackened, purple bruise on his upper left arm. He'd tried to hide the lesions from everyone else, but she knew that it was spreading. Something was wrong.

"Tifa." His voice was low and soft. Tired. Sad.

Tifa reached over and rubbed his back softly.

Cloud ran a hand through his hair and let out another heavy sigh. "…I can't do this anymore."

Tifa's eyes welled with tears, but she didn't reply. She knew that this moment would come.

Cloud turned around and glanced at her, his face stricken and remorseful. He didn't want to do this, either. "I love you. You know that, right? But…I just…" He shook his head and looked away. "I can't."

Tifa swallowed back the tears and continued to rub his back reassuringly. After a long pause, she whispered, "I know."

 **. . .**

 _Cloud…_

Tifa snapped to attention at the sound of laughter outside the door, but the patrons never stopped and walked past the bar. She let out a frustrated sigh, brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, and glanced at the clock. 12:06 a.m. She'd been engrossed in her own thoughts for nearly an hour.

The city was bustling. Just not 7th Heaven.

Tifa tried not to think about it, but deep down in her gut, she knew that she had to find something else to do…soon.

7th Heaven was popular when people were down on their luck…when they needed a drink…when they needed to talk to someone…

Not anymore. Now that the plate was gone and Shinra dismantled, everyone began picking up the pieces to begin a new life. They were busy trying to find jobs, or to clean up the city, or to help the orphans, or to start new businesses.

7th Heaven was a thing of the past. To make matters worse, it was originally located in the old slums – and nobody really wanted to go back to that now that there were other places to eke out a living. The dingy bar was nothing more than a sore reminder of what used to be.

Tifa glanced over the business log, sighed, and shut it in disgust.

 _I'm breaking even,_ _but not for long. If it continues like this, soon I'll be in the red. And then what am I gonna do?_


End file.
